“You will be reincarnated as a toad; and you will be much happier.”
Wow, really? Um, hello, whichever great Deity on-shift listening in on reincarnation requests from mortals today? Yes, hi. Whatever You do, could You please not make me a Australian Cane Toad; and in case toad queues are full and we’d have to settle for frogs, please please please don’t drop me on Earth within 100 kilometres of a Chinese restaurant or any of the countries in that link, okay? This is of the utmost froggy life-and-death importance. Oh, and if you can somehow fit in a distraught princess from an exotic country into my fates, I promise I will spend the rest of my amphibian life croaking your religion to my future fellow pond-mates. Kthnx.